Motherhood

Comparisons

January 31, 2018

At what age did your baby start sitting up? Stand? Walk? Talk? These are all the questions we ask our fellow moms! But why are we so concerned with the development of other people’s children? Why do we compare our children to other children? That is something I struggled with as a first-time mom! Every time I met a mom I would ask these same questions. Claire was “late” sitting up, standing, and walking! Heck, she didn’t even walk until she was 16 months! But she starting talking so “early.”

I now, finally, have realized none of this really matters (sorta) and comparing your babe to someone else’s doesn’t do anything for you, as a mother, other than stress you out.

I was at the library a couple days ago with Claire for their toddler story time. There was this really nice mom with her daughter that was 14 months old sitting next to us. Of course, Claire was blabbing away as this mother stared at her in awe because of all the words she knew and her ability to put sentences together. She then asks me, “When did she start talking” and I told her very early, as soon as she could make any noise she did. She told me her daughter still doesn’t talk much and she only says a few words here and there. I instantly felt that I needed to comfort this mom because I could just see her feelings on her face that her daughter didn’t speak how Claire spoke! I told her that it is ok that she doesn’t speak as many words and that Claire didn’t walk until she was 16 months and she told me her daughter started walking at 10 months. I also said to her that all children develop differently, at different times and we shouldn’t compare because like adults, babies are different too. She felt more at ease and I knew that as mothers, we needed to be there for each other in a positive way and not in a competitive way.

I came across this amazing Instagram post by Megan Ameral who is a Postpartum Doula in San Diego and she was talking about this same thing! Her post was so powerful and I knew we needed to spread the message about empowering and not comparing!

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